Alphabet Soup: Clique Edition
by GLITTERXGURL
Summary: For each letter of the alphabet, there will be a different one-shot. It can be about anything you want, apples, socks, cats. Speaking of socks, this stroy will blow your's off!
1. Rules and Guidelines

**(AN: I had this idea today in Study Hall where I should've been studying. But I still aced the test and came up with this idea! Btw Disclaimed!)**

RULES AND GUIDELINES:

1) There will be a one-shot for every letter of the alphabet.

2) Readers and reviewers choose the next chapter name. For example, 'A' could stand for Apple Pie and so the next chapter would be called Apple Pie and would include apple pie.

3) Each chapter must be a one shot and can't relate to a previous chapter.

4) If you want, you can write a chapter. I might not use it (Sorry!) but still.

5) Readers and reviewers can suggest prompts for the next chapter; i.e. couples, people, socks…

So I'm going to the post A and then if anyone wants to help with B or suggest prompts go ahead.


	2. A is for Apple Pie

**(AN: for those of you who don't know the alphabet this is A)**

_Apple Pie._

It was that time of year again. Its was December 23. My birthday.

Unlike almost everyone else, I hate my birthday. I mean, who has a baby the day before Christmas Eve? No one remembers it.

Even my mother and sisters forget. My mom is too busy getting the Christmas Can Drive ready for the show. She doesn't even care about the poor. Or her daughter apparently. All about the ratings.

And my sisters are no better. Dana and Monica have a normal birthday (March 31). And they're always busy organizing some big Christmas dance at Yale to send one card or call me.

Massie, Alicia and Kristen are no different. It's one of the last days of Christmas shopping, so of course, they're at the mall. Claire doesn't say anything either, but I think she doesn't know when my birthday is. At least, I hope that's the reason.

I walked into the kitchen humming the tune of Happy Birthday. My mom looked at me and said "Dyl, don't you think that you should be singing something a little more seasonal? You've always sang Jingle Bells nicely."

I rolled my eyes, waiting for her to say… "Oh wait…that's Dana." It's the same every year.

See? She can't even take hints.

My cell phone rang and I was happy to get out of the kitchen and away from my mom.

"Hello?" I answered, sitting near the huge Christmas tree.

"Um, hey, Dylan, it's Derrick."

I was speechless. Derrick was calling _me_?

"Um? You know…Derrick Harrington…we have some classes together."

Oh great. "Oh, yeah, I know who you are; I just had to turn off my TV."

"I was wondering if you could come over later. I have something I want to show you."

"Sure," I smiled, even though he couldn't see it. "What time?"

After he gave me his address, I went to get ready. An hour later, I was ready to go.

I climbed in the open limo, and gave Argus the directions.

The Harrington Estate was covered in Christmas lights. A blow up Santa was on the roof waving.

I knocked, wishing I wasn't so nervous.

A lady answered and welcomed me in. "You must be Dylan."

She sent me down to the basement where all of the lights were off. If this was a trick, I swear I would commit suicide.

Suddenly, a light flickered on. Derrick's gorgeous face appeared in the light. He started singing.

"_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy biiiiirthday dear Dy-lan! Happy birthday to you!"_

He was holding an apple pie, my favorite that had a little pink candle sticking up.

"I remembered, last year in French you wrote _'Mon plat préféré est la tarte aux pommes.'_"

I swear, I could've cried. Derrick Harrington –a guy I thought didn't even know my name- had remembered my favorite food and my birthday even though no one else did.

"Make a wish," he said, holding it up to my face.

I blew the candle out, but my wish had already come true.

**(AN: So there you go. Anyone know anything that begins with B?)**


	3. B is for Barf

**(AN: Ok, I'm pretty sure you were joking –at least I hope you were- when you suggested this, but it's worth a shot!)**

_Barf_

I sat in bio class, studying the back of Cam Fisher's head. I noticed he had dandruff –ew-, and his hair was _way_ too jelled back, but he made a good boyfriend for Claire. They both had horrible hair.

I considered texting that to the girls, but knowing them, they'd all stick up for Claire since they all had 'boyfriends'. Alicia had Chris, Dylan had Derrick, Claire had Cam, and Kristen had Josh. But no, I had no one.

It wasn't like I was on another boy fast; in fact I had crushes on several boys. But none of them liked me back. I had told Todd Lyons -Claire's older brother- that I liked him and you know what he did? He laughed. Ouch.

Then after I had confessed my feelings to other people (Getting turned down by each of them), I decided to try a test. I asked a boy in a grade younger than me out. Now if he were normal, he would've jumped at the fact that I was even talking to him!

But instead, little Nathan giggled with his friends and stuck his tongue out at me before running away. I swear I'm cursed.

There is one person I haven't confessed my feelings to. But Danny Robins probably wouldn't like me anyway.

I glanced at him; he was sitting three desks to the right of me. Danny had recently gotten his braces off, and he looked like a million bucks.

"Okay class, we will be looking at the cells in blood, so please, get your microscopes ready." Mr. Brunner said, pricking his finger.

Oh god. Blood is one of the only things that make me nauseous. I swallowed, hoping to bring down the wave of nausea. No such luck.

Mr. Brunner handed me a slide with a drop of red liquid. The smell alone makes me gag, but the look of it is absolutely disgusting.

"Mr. Brunner!" I raised my hand. He obviously heard the panic in my voice, because he pointed to the door. I raced out, hoping to get to the nurses office before throwing up the spicy tuna rolls I'd had for lunch.

Fifteen minutes later, I was lying on the bed, waiting for Isaac to pick me up. Then, Danny walked in. Oh great. I looked horrible!

"Hey, Massie, how are you feeling?" He asked, sitting down beside me. "Blood's not my thing. Mr. Brunner handed me the slide and I vomited all over his shoes. I hope they weren't expensive."

I giggled, despite my rolling stomach. "That sucks," I said sympathetically. I knew what that was like.

"Um, listen," he said, shifting uncomfortably. "I was wondering if…if after we were feeling better, you'd like to go out with me?" he blushed.

I swear my heart stopped. This was what I had wanted since I first laid eyes on him.

"I'd love too," I smiled. This was honestly one of my happiest moments, even though there was puke in my shoe.

Who knew that a little bit of barf could bring two people together?

**(AN: For C, I have two words that I want to use. It's up to you guys: Canada or Cruise Ship? BTW, thanks for the suggestions!)**


	4. C is for Cruise to Canada

**(AN: I decided to go with both, since me and all of my lovely reviewers couldn't choose. Btw, I know that Vancouver is in Canada…I live there. Btw part 2: this is more Canada then Cruise ship cuz I couldn't really fit cruise with Canada. No one cruises to Canada!)**

_Cruise Ship to Canada_

_Canada_. Canada! My parents wanted me to move to Canada. _Canada. _Vancouver, to be precise. They were out of their minds to move us there. One, it was cold. I had just gotten used to how cold Westchester got in the winter, now I was expected to move where it was cold _year round_? Two, my friends and boyfriend lived in Westchester!

My dad booked a cruise for us to go on to get us excited about Canada. Honestly, not even a four-star cruise ship could get me out of my mood.

"Well ladies and gentlemen," the overly perky cruise announcer said over a loud speaker. "We will be docking in Vancouver, British Columbia in about an hour! If we're lucky we'll see some whales in their natural habitat- the ocean!"

The people on the deck all rushed to the railings to saying 'Oooh, whales'. Pathetic, I know.

"Claire-Bear!" My mom called out. She shuffled over to where I was standing. Unlike me and Todd, she was ecstatic about moving to a whole different country.

"What?" I snapped. If I had to move, I would be surly twenty four hours a day.

My mom's face clouded over. "Try to be happy. Think of all the new opportunities! And Canadian boys sure are cute!"

I glared at my mom. "In case you forgot: Westchester is full of opportunities. And I have a boyfriend!" Derrick had been my boyfriend since I moved to Westchester. "And Vancouver is tacky. I don't want to move there."

My mom did one of her infamous sighs. "Claire…" She started, but I beat her to it.

"This is a great job opportunity for your father. This is making him so happy! Besides we've enrolled you and Todd for school already," I mimicked her exactly.

She had given me this speech five times: Once when she first told me we were moving. Twice when I had a breakdown on the way to the cruise. A third time while finding our room on the ship. A fourth while dragging me down to dinner, and then now.

"Claire!" My mom sounded desperate. "Please, just be happy when your father's around."

I shrugged in an 'I make no promises' way. But I knew I would. My mom sighed and left me alone.

When we finally docked in Vancouver, my mom dragged my brother off to Science World. My dad went to speak with the people who were hiring him, aka the people who were ruining my life by making me move to Canada.

I decided to look around. Maybe if Canada had some good malls, the girls would come visit me.

A lady with a dog as tall as me walked past me. I stared at the dog until he turned and disappeared around a corner. When I turned back around I ran into the chest of someone.

"Sorry, I should've been watching where I was going," I said, very embarrassed.

I looked up at the guy I'd run into. He had black hair that was gelled back and multicolored eyes, one blue and one green. For a second, I swear my heart stopped. It was like in those movies Massie watches- the guy and girl bump into each other on a busy street before passionately kissing and then getting married.

Of course those are all happy ending movies, and everyone knows life isn't like that.

"No," the guy said, never losing my eyes. "It was my fault. I'm Cam."

"Claire," I smiled. I don't know where this confidence was coming from but I liked it. "I'm moving here in August. Do you live here?" Oh god, I have a tendency to blurt out things.

"Oh, you're moving right when it's hot," Wait, Canada could actually be hot? "And yeah, I do. Maybe I'll see you around?"

"I'd like that," I giggled. I felt light headed. Alicia said that was how she felt near Josh. Like you felt that way when you were with your true love. I never felt that way with Derrick.

After exchanging e-mail addresses and promises to get together when I moved here, I left, hoping the cruise was still docked.

I smiled and took my time walking back to the ship. Canada was actually okay, well from what I'd seen anyway. Maybe Canada wouldn't be so bad after all.

**(AN: I wrote a new story!!!!!!!! Check it out biatches ;) !!!)**


	5. D is for Dylington

****

(Thanks for the reviews guys! This is going to be the crappiest one shot ever. Sorry. This actually isn't really Dylington but I find it cute enough.)

_Dylington_

You watch your teacher call her name. The girl with the shiny red curls, pale skin and a smile that makes you want to melt.

She walks confidently to the front of the classroom, ignoring the glares from Massie Block and her army of skanks.

"My project is on gene splicing," says her light, girly voice.

You tune out the rest of her project, opting to stare into her emerald eyes. They really do sparkle. You know exactly why Massie hates her so much. Dylan was prettier than the so called 'alpha' and Massie hated it.

The class claps, and you burst into full on applause, even though you have no idea what she had been explaining.

She takes her seat and turns to offer you a small smile. Your heart beat increases by a hundred beats per second. Or that's what it feels like.

* * *

The next week, she invites you to her party. Her birthday. All week, you think and think and think about what a fifteen year old girl would want.

She sits alone at lunch, you notice. She ignores the snickers from her passing classmates. She ignores the glares from Massie and her clique. She ignores the fact that she sits alone.

You're too shy to approach and ask if you can sit with her, so instead, you watch from afar.

* * *

You shyly give Dylan her present –a heart necklace from Tiffany's. She smiles, and puts it in her pocket to open later.

There weren't many people to show up. A few friends and you. Only four people show up to her fifteenth birthday.

After the party, Dylan insists you take the rest of the cake home.

"Please Derrick," she pleads. "It'll just sit here until someone eats it, and then they'll complain to me that I shouldn't have gotten such a fattening cake!"

You laugh half-heartedly. Even though you know your mom will be pissed for bringing home cake, you take it anyway. There was more than half left.

As you walk home, you wonder why people hated Dylan so much. She was nice. Incredibly nice. You remembered the first day you met.

You were in grade two, and Massie Block had spilled her juice box on Dylan's sunny yellow skirt, exclaiming that even at seven years old, Dylan still had accidents.

You helped her clean it up. Thinking you would become friends, you tried to talk to her. She ignored you.

* * *

The week after her birthday, Dylan found a boyfriend. Josh Hotz. You hated him. Not just because he was Dylan's boyfriend, but because he was better than you at everything.

Soccer captain? Josh Hotz. Basketball captain? Josh Hotz. Football captain? Josh Hotz. Boyfriend of the gorgeous Dylan Marvil? Josh freaking Hotz.

Because of Josh, aka, Mr. Popularity, Dylan now has friends. She's even been welcomed into Massie Block's 'Pretty Committee'.

She was popular.

You watch, nauseous, as they stroll down the hallway, his arm around her tiny waist. You wish someone would oh so casually put their leg out, tripping Josh Hotz and his stupid smug expression.

Dylan catches your eye and whispers something to Josh. He stares at you for a few seconds before nodding and leaves to fetch his black Hummer.

Dylan walks over and plants a kiss on your cheek. You blush bright red.

"Thank you Derrick," she whispers in your ear. "Thank you for my present," you notice she's wearing it. "And thank you…for being my friend, even though everyone else hated me. You're a true friend, and for that, I will always love you." She smiles at you before running out after Josh.

You smile back, even though she's already gone. Dylan Marvil loved you –but wasn't _in _love with you- and you were fine with that. Wishing you could go back in time to when she whispered those words in your ear, you walk away, ready and waiting for the minute Josh Hotz broke her heart.

**(AN: Told you it sucked. I wrote it at like three in the morning so that's probably why. Hope it didn't make your eyes bleed too much.)**


	6. E is for Earthworm

**(AN: Well it's been a while since I updated…sorry, I got sidetracked. But I'll try to go back to updating weekly, just because you guys are such awesome reviewers!)**

_Earthworm_

"I dare you to eat an earthworm!" exclaimed six year old Derrick Harrington.

Massie Block and the rest of the girls shrieked. Even just looking at the slippery little things disgusted them.

But Dylan Marvil was not one to turn down a dare. So she and Derrick walked away from the group, looking through the mud to find one earthworm.

It had rained recently, and all of the worms were up and wriggling on the wet, muddy earth.

"Found one!" Derrick called, holding up the wiggling worm like a trophy. "Now you got to eat it!"

Dylan wrinkled her freckled nose and squeezed her eyes shut, but popped the worm in mouth and swallowed quickly, hoping not to taste it.

Before she could open her eyes, Derrick planted a kiss on her cheek.

Dylan knew she should've been revolted because of the kooties, but she felt pleased that she had gained Derrick's approval.

"Every time you eat a worm, I'll give you a kiss." Derrick smiled, exposing the space in his teeth where he had lost his front tooth. "Only if you give me a kiss each time I eat a worm."

"Deal," Dylan stuck out her small pinkie and Derrick wrapped his around her.

"We'd better get back to the others," Derrick said. The two raced off to find the rest of there group.

* * *

The group of eight fourteen year olds sat in a circle in Massie Block's back yard. After daring Massie and Danny –the infamous off again, on again couple- to kiss, Claire Lyons turned her penetrating stare to Derrick.

"Truth or Dare?" She asked.

Derrick knew he should've picked truth, but dare was always more fun.

After a few minutes of thinking, Claire decided on daring him to kiss Alicia.

Dylan tried to keep her jealousy at bay. She and Derrick weren't even dating, so why should she be mad?

After Derrick kissed Alicia, and wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand, he dared Dylan to eat one earthworm.

Massie, Alicia and Claire wrinkled their noses, but Dylan laughed. "You always dare me that," she giggled.

Derrick smiled. "I like the results," he shrugged. To the rest of the group, it sounded as though Derrick liked watching people eat worms, but Dylan knew the truth.

They walked toward the thick bushes that surrounded the Block Estate. Once Dylan found a worm, she swallowed it without gagging. After nine years of the same routine, she had gotten used to it.

Derrick kissed her on the lips, and Dylan smiled inwardly.

Her happiness grew with each kiss.

* * *

It was Dylan's first year at Yale. She and Massie had wound up together at Yale; Derrick, Josh and Danny were at Brown; Alicia was at NYU; and Cam and Claire were at Penn, living in the coed dorms.

Dylan hadn't heard from any of her old friends except for Danny, thanks to Massie. That also meant she hadn't heard from Derrick.

When they first went to different collages, they had sworn to e-mail, text, call and Facebook each other every second.

During the first month of school, they had kept up their promise. But then October came around, and no one talked. Even Massie and Danny, who were dating, only called each other once a month.

Now it was December thirty-first, exactly five minutes till the New Year. Massie had gone to one of the numerous keg parties, leaving Dylan alone in their room.

Dylan stared out the window. It was snowing. Hard. It was a good thing Danny hadn't decided to drive down to see Massie. He'd probably drive off the road, leaving Massie heartbroken.

Just then, the door knocked. Dylan got up off her bed, rolling her eyes. It was probably Massie, locked out because she forgot her key.

But when Dylan opened the door, it wasn't her brunette best friend. There stood Derrick Harrington, holding up an earthworm.

"I dare you to eat one earthworm," He said, his breath coming out in clouds.

Dylan grinned. Derrick came to see her! She quickly grabbed the semi-frozen worm, and swallowed it.

Derrick bent down, pressing his cold lips to hers'.

Who cared about diamonds? Earthworms could be a girls' best friend, too.


	7. F is for Friends

Whoooooo boy, it's been a while! I found this story while stalking my page and totally forgot about it. Let's hope I update on a regular basis(: review? soo F is for friends(: omg does anyone else remember that Spongebob song that's like F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for U and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all down here in deep blue sea! Great. Now I'll be singing that all night...

* * *

_F is for friends. _

"You're tag is sticking up!"

"Jeez, Kuh-laire! Get with it!"

"How am I supposed to see the back of my neck? And my hair covers it!"

"Well _I'll_ know it's there! And it'll bug me!"

"Here, I'll fix it! Much better!"

I turn around to grin my thanks to the Pretty Committee, who all look gorgeous and flawless as per usual. "Thanks," I tell them, leaning against my locker. "You guys literally _had my back_," I grin as Kristen cracks up. Dylan and Alicia look confused while Massie just looks uninpressed. But that's nothing compared to her comebacks, so she probably really is uninpressed.

My grin fades as I see Cam Fisher -who just dumped me for the new girl Nikki- stroll by, arm around Nikki. The slut.

As if on cue, Massie, Alicia, Dylan and Kristen all burst out laughing. "Ehmagawd, Kuh-laire!" Alicia cackles. "That's so funny!"

Massie's laughing so hard tears are streaming out of her eyes, and I can't help but feel confused. But Cam did catch my eye as he walked away. The second he's gone, their faces are straight again, as if that hadn't just happened.

"Did you see her shoes?" Dylan immediately cuts in, button nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Gawd, yes," Alicia agrees with a roll of her eyes. "Worse than Keds..." they both glance down at my sneaker-clad feet.

"And did you see Cam looking over here?" Kristen gushes excitedly. "He so ruh-grets dumping you, Kuh-laire!"

I bite my lip as Massie studies me. "Who cares?" Massie says loudly. "So Nikki's a tuh-otal shoe disaster and has dry hair. And Cam just totally downgraded from a Buh-lackberry Torch to a Buh-lackberry Style," she sniffs in disapproval. "Kuh-laire, you're better without him."

I feel my heart start to feel better again. As the conversation switches to the new Prada bags, I feel a surge of love go through me for these girls. Sure, all they care about is power and looks, and their Valley-Girl Speak is super annoying and they mock my outfit choices. But these girls are special. And yes, just one of their looks could kill me, but I know they'd also kill _for _me. They're complete bitches.

But they're my best friends.


	8. G is for Game

I really don't like this one so I'm very sorry for making you read it. Buuut it's Christmas Holidays so I'll be updating more in the next week or so:) And keep those suggestions and reviews coming 3

_

* * *

__G is for game. _

At four, it was the game of tag.

"TAG!"

"You didn't touch me! You're still it!"

"Nu-uh!"

"Yeah! I'm telling!"

Four year old Massie Block sprinted off as fast as her chubby toddler legs could take her. Four and a half year old -and you _can't _forget the _half-_ Derrick Harrington was instantly behind her. He pushed out both his hands, shoving Massie on to the ground.

"Told ya I tagged you!" He crossed his arms. But Massie was on the ground shrieking and crying, having fallen chin-first on a tree root. Mrs. Bradley, the nursery school teacher, scooped her up, inspecting Massie's bleeding chin.

"Hmm," she murmured. "It's not too bad, Massie," she said soothingly. "One stitch is all you'll need!"

"What are stitches?" Massie stopped crying to wonder.

"They're just going to sew that little cut up," Mrs. Bradley chirped. Massie started wailing and screaming again.

"Look at what you've done, Derrick," Mrs. Bradley scolded while another teacher took the still-crying Massie to the nurse's office. "You've hurt Massie."

"Sorry, Massie!" Derrick shouted after her. But Massie was crying too loud to hear.

* * *

At twelve, it was the game of Twister.

"Danny! Tell her! Her knee is so touching the mat!"

"It's not! Anyone with half a brain can so see that! Tell him Danny!"

But Danny Robbins was too busy trying to flirt with Alicia Rivera at her twelfth birthday party to notice who was right or wrong.

"Give up," Derrick Harrington said as he stretched his right hand over Massie Block to touch a blue circle. "I'm gonna win."

"Are not," Massie huffed, snaking her leg underneath Derrick's torso to touch a red circle. They were the only two left in the game, and as usual, it was war between them.

Derrick was so close to Massie he could see the little white scar on her chin. He gave her that, he thought, somewhat proudly. Eight years ago. It was like he'd claimed her.

Suddenly, her knee came up and hit him in the eye. Derrick dropped, holding his palm to his eye and trying not to cry.

"I win!" Massie called triumphantly, but everyone was too busy checking on Derrick to care.

"Mom!" Alicia screamed. "Derrick's eye is bleeding! You better come see it! It's sooo gross!"

As Mrs. Rivera led Derrick out of the basement, Massie felt a twinge of guilt. "I'm sorry!" she told him. "It was an accident!"

But Derrick was already up the stairs and didn't hear.

* * *

At sixteen, it was the game of love.

"She's a whore."

"Come on, Mass. I get that you're my best friend and you want the best for me, but you've said that about every girl I've ever asked out!"

"Well Claire Lyons is a huge slut," Massie Block insisted. "Everyone knows that."

"Well you're the one always flirting with her brother," Derrick Harrington muttered bitterly. The two sat on the Block's hammock, where they'd spent so much of their childhood sitting.

The Lyons family had moved in across the street from Massie a few weeks ago and Derrick, having spent most afternoons at Massie's, had immediately taken a liking to Claire. Massie, on the other hand, despised her.

"Well he's cute," Massie bit her lip. _Not as cute as you though._

"So is Claire," Derrick leaned back on the hammock. _Like you._

As if on cue, the two Lyons children pulled into the driveway. Claire got out of the front seat, waved to Derrick before joining hands with a boy who got out of the passenger seat. Todd and some pretty girl crawled out of the back seat. Claire and the boy walked across the street to where Massie and Derrick were.

"Hey," Claire grinned. "This is my boyfriend Cam, from back home," she pointed to the cute boy holding her hand. "And that's Todd's girlfriend Layne," she pointed across the street. "They're here to visit for the weekend. Maybe all six of us can hang out?"

"Uh, sounds fun," Massie smiled weakly as Claire and Cam walked back to the Lyons' house.

Derrick turned to Massie. "Did we just get dumped?"

"We couldn't have gotten dumped," Massie smacked him on the arm. "It's not like we were dating."

"Yeah but Claire was totally into me! And Todd flirted with you _all the time_," he rolled his dark brown eyes.

Massie sighed, annoyed. "Please Derrick, you think _every _girl is into you!"

Derrick shot her an adorable smile. "Like you?"

Massie rolled her eyes, elbowing him playfully. "Sure, like me."

"Movies tonight?" Derrick held her gaze. "Maybe just the two of us?"

Massie fought a smile. "Alright," she allowed. "Just the two of us."

Derrick got up and stretched. "I'll see you tonight then."

"Seven o'clock," Massie told him bossily.

"Great," Derrick grinned, looking down at he feet. "Wouldn't miss it."


	9. H is for Holiday

Happy holidays to all of my amazing reviewers and readers!

I hope you guys all have safe and amazing holidays, whatever you celebrate:)

xo

* * *

"Merry Christmas, bud, enjoy the taquitoes!"

"Thanks," seventeen year old Josh Hotz muttered, taking the bag of lukewarm chicken and jalepino taquitoes from the Seven-Eleven store worker. "You too."

On the drive home, Josh couldn't help but resent his parents. They'd decided to go somewhere hot for Christmas without him. It wasn't that they were on vacation without him that pissed him off though, it was that Christmas had always been his favourite holiday because he was never alone.

Growing up, his older sister had been at boarding school and his parents had been on long trips, and he'd be stuck with the staff. But no matter what, everyone was always to get at Christmas, even if it were a day. But this year, his sister was too busy at Brown to come home, and his parents were cruising the Carribean and his staff had been giving this holidays off for once.

So this was how he was spending Christmas -a bag of cold, greasy taquitoes from a gas station, maybe watch some TV, then tomorrow he'd open all the presents his parents left for him, all by himself.

He supposed he could go to his girlfriend's, since the Block's were having their annual Christmas Eve Party, covered by local press and People. And Massie was more into showing him off than actually listening to him or anything. And he didn't want to have to pose for pictures, he just wanted to have a chill night. And he would be...he'd just be having it alone.

Josh pulled into the driveway, surprised that the living room's lights were on. Hadn't he shut them off? With a shrug, he grabbed his bag and unlocked the door. The living room lights were on, along with the hallway and the kitchen. The TV flickered in the living room and the kitchen cupboards were open.

He creeped slowly towards the living room, Seven-Eleven bag held out in front of him like a weapon. Instead of finding the murderer or robber he'd been expecting, he found Claire Lyons lounging on his favourite leather couch, black yoga pants with red socks on and gold curls piled on top of her head.

"Uh, hey Claire," Josh glanced at the coffee table in front of her, piled high with bags of chips, cookies and drinks.

"Oh, hey," she turned around with a grin, as if it was perfectly natural for Claire Lyons to break into his house, sit on his favourite couch and empty his cupboards. "What's up?"

"Nothing much..." he trailed off, sinking onto the less comfortable couch. "Just wondering what the hell you're doing in my house..."

"Oh," Claire laughed. "Sorry! But I overheard Massie saying that you were going to be alone for Christmas, and since my family's going to the Block's and I really didn't want to join them, I figured we might as well spend our lonely night together. It'd probably be less lonely!"

A small smile crept up on Josh's face. "So you broke into my house? Just because we both didn't want to go to my girlfriend's party?"

"I did not 'break in'," Claire scoffed. "I had a key," she held up a bronze key, the same on on his keychain in his pocket.

"Um, Claire, where'd ya get a key to my house? I'm not sure if you know this, but that's pretty creepy."

"Took it from Massie," Claire shrugged.

"Massie has a key to my house?"

"She makes keys to all her boyfriends' houses," Claire shrugged again. "Anyway, I ordered enough Chinese food to feed like all of China, so unless you want to feel really fat later, you better let me stay."

Josh laughed, his mood brightening. He loved Claire at the moment. "Well when you put it that way, how can I say no?"

"And," Claire held up three different DVDs. "I brought _Bride Wars_, _Breakfast at Tiffany's _and _PS, I Love You._"

Josh rolled his eyes. "If you're going to break into my house, make me eat Chinese instead of my gas station taquitoes and make me watch chick flicks, you at least need to share the good couch with me."

Claire giggled and slid to one side. "This is seriously the comfiest couch I've ever sat on," she said as Josh sat down beside her. She held out a Ralph Lauren blanket which he wrapped around their legs.

"I know," he grinned. The doorbell rang. "I'm assuming that's the Chinese food? I'll go get it, put whatever DVD in."

When he came back -with as much Chinese food to feed China, Claire ordered _a lot-, _Claire was snuggled under the blanket, a few gold curls falling out of her bun. She was beautiful. He sat down back beside her, offering her a containor of Shanghai noodles.

"You keep your house at Arctic temperatures," she shivered.

"It keeps my heart icy and cold," Josh shrugged.

"You're not mean," Claire said, biting into an eggroll. "Well I dunno, Massie could be rubbing off on you."

Josh snickered and tried to turn his attention to the TV, but Claire, who was literally like an angel, kept distracting him. Maybe it was her perfume, or the fact that she wasn't afraid to break into his house in yoga pants and a messy bun. But Josh decided it was her heart that he liked the best. She'd ditched her family and Massie, just so he wouldn't be alone at Christmas.

"Merry Christmas, Claire," he said, resting his head lightly against hers.

She smiled. "Merry Christmas, Josh."


	10. I is for Iguana

So I really suck at coming up with what to right about, soo any suggestions for J? :)

Ps, sorry if iguanas are nothing like how I'm writing them but I have no idea what they do...they're not the ones who change colours and they're not like those bearded dragons so I don't really get the point of them!

Pps, I hate this chapter. I'm sorry! BUT KRISTENxDANNY FTW.

Ppps, THANK YOU WHOEVER TOLD ME THIS WAS THE WRONG CHAPTER(: turns out I uploaded a chapter of Sleep Away: the Sequel to this...oopz:) thank you, I owe you!:)

Pppps, sorry, I always have like the longest ANs!

* * *

_I is for iguana_

"What is _that_?" Nine year old Kristen Gregory squealed, her ski-slope nose crinkled in disgust as she peered over Danny Robbins' shoulder.

"That's Jeffrey! He's my new pet!" Danny grinned, tapping the chicken-wire cage happily. "He's an iguana! Wanna see him eat a cricket? Look they're still alive!"

Kristen shrieked and jumped away as Danny held a plastic containor full of saw dust and chirping, wriggling crickets under her nose. "Why would you get him?"

"'Cause he's cool!" Danny turned his attention back to 'Jeffrey', wiggling his fingers inside the cage.

Kristen tried to hold back her disgust.

* * *

"Danny, hurry up! When you said you wanted to play soccer, I expected you to be ready twenty minutes ago, when I first came over!" Kristen tapped her foot impatiently as fourteen year old Danny fed his iguana some crickets.

"Aweh, Kris look, he's eating it and it's struggling! Come look! Quick it's so cute!"

Against her better judgement, Kristen leaned in next to Danny, only to see Jeffrey the Iguana gobbling up a cricket who indeed was still struggling. "Danny! That's gross!" Kristen backed up, wrinkling her nose. "Hey, have you ever noticed that Jeffrey doesn't blink?"

Danny hesitated, eyebrows crinkled. "He blinks," he disagreed. "He has to!"

"No he doesn't," Kristen argued. "Not all things blink."

"Well Jeffrey does," Danny decided. "He's not going to be some freaky thing that doesn't blink."

"Watch," Kristen sat down beside him in front of the cage, eyes glued to the ceramic log where Jeffrey had disappeared. "When he comes out, I bet you he won't blink."

And so the two sat like that for the next hour and a half, waiting to be right.

* * *

"Can you pass me a mealworm?" Sixteen year old Danny asked his girlfriend of an hour, Kristen.

"Umm, no," Kristen glared at the containor that held sixteen 'Jumbo Mealworms'. "I'm not touching anything that has to do with the lizzard."

Danny grumbled something before grabbing the containor himself. He held out a Jumbo Mealworm, which looked like it had eaten steroids for all of his life. The thing was as long as Kristen's thumb. She shuddered, turning away.

"Why hasn't Jeffrey died yet?" she wondered aloud. "I mean you've had him since you were what, ten?"

"Nine," Danny corrected, dropping the mealworm into the warm cage. "And I dunno. I love him too much."

"Aweh cute," Kristen teased, wondering how on earth anyone could love the little green, scaly..._thing. _

"So remember a few years ago, you told me that Jeffrey never blinked?" Danny turned his big brown eyes on her instead of the iguana. "I think you were right. I mean, look." He and Kristen both looked down at the lizzard, who's eyes were wide open and buldging out of his face.

"Ew," Kristen wrinkled her nose. "He's so ugly, Danny. How can you love him?"

"Hey, you're pretty ugly too, but I love you," he teased, eyes crinkling as he grinned.

Kristen leaned over and kissed him -their first kiss as a couple- for a second before pulling back and glaring at the lizzard.

"What's wrong?" Danny stared from Jeffry to his girlfriend.

"Jeffrey doesn't blink, he's going to be watching us kiss," Kristen wrinkled her nose. "That's like porn."

So Danny laughed and dropped a towel over the iguana's cage, enveloping Jeffrey in darkness, before kissing his girlfriend.


	11. J is for Justin Bieber

Suggestions for K? :)

Btw, got my thirteen year old sister to come up with this one! Stole all three of her Justin Bieber CDs to listen to while I wrote it!:)

* * *

_J is for Justin Bieber._

"GUESS WHO I'M GOING TO SEE!"

In a flurry of brown curls, Chanel No.5 perfume and extra glitter from a pep rally, Massie Block slammed into her boyfriend of two days, Todd Lyons.

"You already get to see me," he smiled at her, closing his locker door.

"No, like see in concert!" Massie could barely get the words out, she was so excited. Without waiting for Todd to answer, Massie shouted "JUSTIN BIEBER!" causing several looks of disgust from people around them and cheers from a few eighth grade girls.

"Oh, Mass, ew," Todd's freckle-dusted nose wrinkled. "That's just...ew. You're in tenth grade...and you seem to be smart...and you have good taste...but you like_ Justin Bieber_."

Massie sulked for a second before leaning in close. "Well guess who has the honour of coming with me?" she breathed in his ear, causing goosebumps to break out on his arms.

"No. No, no, no, no, NO." Todd insisted. "You're hot but even you're not worth a Justin Bieber concert."

So Massie pouted slightly and batted her mascara-ed eyes. "Todd," she cooed, amber eyes wide. Todd looked up, meeting those large, pleading eyes.

"Fuck."

"I LOVE YOU!" she squealed, throwing her arms around his. "Tomorrow's going to be so much fun! We'll wear matching shirts, and Sharpie 'BIEBER FEVER' on our foreheads and I'm thinking glitter. Lots of it. Purple, preferably, since it's Justin's favourite colour. Isaac will pick you up at six because the concert starts at seven and I do not want to miss a second of it. And let's go pick up some tennis shoes -we can write his lyrics all over them. And what do you think about Yankees hats? Justin _loves _the Yankees. Um, Todd, what are the Yankees anyway? And oh my god, you've got a _lot _of lyrics to learn by tomorrow..."

Todd tuned his girlfriend out as she looped her arm though his and chattered on.

* * *

"JUSTIN! JUSTIN! JUSTIN! JUSTIN!"

"ISN'T THIS SO MUCH FUN, TODD?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

Instead of answering Todd, Massie turned back to the stage, cheering along with the rest of the girls. Todd noted he was the only boy in the front row. Even with extra thick earplugs he'd shoved in his pocket when Massie wasn't looking, he still felt like his head was going to explode. Who knew teenage girls were so _loud_?

Massie had stayed true to her words -the two of them were Bieberized from head to toe, and sparkling with purple glitter. Todd shimmered more than Edward from Twilight.

Great. Shimmering like a gay/pedo vampire _and _at a Justin Bieber concert? The masculinity in Todd's body disappeared faster than the tickets for this sold-out concert.

In a flash of fire and pretty dece guitar riffs, Justin Bieber flipped on stage with his incredigay backup dancers. Todd held back a snicker -they were all boys. What kind of boy didn't have hot girl dancers?

"Todd!" Massie yelled, leaning against his side as JB started singing a slower song. "Thank you! Seriously! This is the nicest thing any boy has done for me! And I owe you one!"

A grin appeared on Todd's face as he thought of just how she could pay her debt. They swayed to the song as girls held up their cell phones and sang along. A blush creeped up his face as Todd realized he knew all the lyrics to this song.

"Like, it takes a lot of courage to get all dressed up and learn every song and wearing purple _glitter_ and do it all for me. And really, who needs Justin Bieber when you've got Todd Lyons?"

Todd leaned down to kiss her, but not before thinking that maybe -and he'd kill anyone who could hear his thoughts- Justin Bieber wasn't quite so bad.


	12. K is for Karma

lol i don't know what's more embarassing: how bad my oneshots were in 2009 when i first started this  
or  
how bad my oneshots are now in 2013

* * *

Massie Block didn't believe in karma. Why should she wait around for some cosmic force to ruin someone's life when she could just ruin it herself?

Like the time in grade seven when Danny Robbins was in front of her in the lunch line and took the last chocolate milk. Massie had stuck her foot out so fast that Danny didn't even know _what _he'd tripped over. But he'd landed chin first and needed several stitches. Plus, while he was being rushed to the nurse, Massie had been able to pick up the chocolate milk and return to her friends.

Or the time Alicia had gotten the new Balenciaga bag -in _purple_!- before Massie, even though Massie had been on Barney's waiting list for _three months. _A few French fries for Bean, who'd somehow found herself in Alicia's new purse, and the bag was ruined. Nothing made Bean sick like French fries.

And who could forget the time Claire had accidentally smudged Massie's pedicure during one of their Friday night sleepovers. Massie had painted green nail polish throughout Claire's hair while Claire was sleeping, and then had blamed it on one of the other girls.

But Massie didn't believe she was being a bad person. No, of course not! She was simply helping align the universe. She righted the wrongs. She made sure everyone got their just desserts. If anything, she deserved some kind of award.

Olivia Ryan, however, _did _believe in karma. Ever since first grade, when Massie had spilled apple juice all over the front of Olivia's dress and told everyone she'd peed herself, Olivia had been patiently waiting for karma to bite Massie in the ass.

She counted the little things, like when Cam Fisher chose Claire Lyons over Massie, or when Massie got a D because she refused to cut open a sheep's eye.

"Did you hear?" Layne Abeley whispered during Study Hall. "Derrick _dumped _Massie this morning. She's trying to tell everyone that _she _dumped _him, _but everyone totally knows it was his choice."

"Hmm," Olivia nodded, smiling a little. "That's too bad."

The final bell rang and Olivia made her way to her locker. Sure enough, Massie Block was down the hall, loudly exclaiming how Derrick just didn't excite her the way he used to, so of course, she _had _to end things.

Karma was on Olivia's side that day.

In the parking lot, a large seagull pooped while diving for a discarded pizza crust. It landed on Massie's shoulder. Massie shrieked so many curse words, Olivia was sure karma would have to get her for that, too.

And karma certainly did. Massie stormed to her car and flung the door open so hard it hit the Hummer in the next stall. Not only was Massie's door scratched and chipping, but the steroid-taking water polo player was _extremely _angry.

Olivia walked past Massie's car to get to her own. "Having a good day, Mass?" she asked sweetly.

"Fuck off," Massie hissed before slamming her door shut and speeding out of the parking lot.

Massie Block was a bitch, but no one stood a chance against karma.


End file.
